I'm back at school. And it's weird. Weirder than I expected.
Not so weird last night, when I got in at 1:40 AM. But there was no one around except the angel/fellow Bromley resident who could let in a poor girl sans key.
As a side note: Does anyone else get really pedantic about everything late at night? At 10 o'clock, even midnight, I can be a careless slob, but post midnight Dani has to brush her teeth the full recommended 2 minutes, make her bed exactly how she was taught in Girls Club, and empty her car of almost every item she can feasible carry herself.
But the daylight took me on a rollercoaster ride. Walking across campus this morning was surreal. The freshman were wandering around with lost looks, the sports teams were practicing on the quad, the faces were unfamiliar. I almost felt like I feel when I go back to my high school.
Once, I knew people, I did things, I belonged. What's my place here now?
I couldn't help picturing the students at la Catolica, walking el Tontodromo, sitting in the outdoor cafeterias, taunting the deer.... Much like I pictured the university I'm at now the first time I left it to go to la Catolica.
And then later meeting up with a group of students interning in Lynn, a nearby city, and discussing community development. It was a lot of great conversation, a lot of really important topics, a lot of really cool people.
A little overwhelming.
But at least now, it's a familiar overwhelming. I've changed scenery enough by now to know that it takes some adjustment for me. I feel small. I feel alone. I cry a little. I smile. I adjust. I settle in. I move on. I grow.
For me, there's comfort in knowing the cycle.
And oh yeah... you go candlepin bowling.
And laugh.
Bowling ... is fun.
ReplyDeleteIt's an odd feeling being alone. Wanting people. Not wanting people and I most definately feel small(er) when in an unfamiliar place (or brave, because they don't know me).
Good luck with school!