Monday, January 10, 2011

Well, kiddos, you win some... turn some into a mushy fish-like paste that's only technically edible.

It all started off promisingly enough:

Ellen and this weird girl were keeping me company in the kitchen.

I was successfully talking myself into working with this salmon that I felt like was going to swim away at any moment--headless and tailess, which only creeped me out more.
I hypocritically like my meat to no longer resemble anything living.

The orzo portion of the meal was looking quite like the photo in the recipe book said it should. These cookbooks are proof that we do not outgrow pictures.

I figured out the baking instructions (fold parchment paper in half... good... cut in the shape of a heart...what?) without a single previous origami lesson.

I thought that the happy coincidence of our heart-shaped stoneware in our kitchen meant that Lady Luck also likes to cook.

And then, in that cruel last act twist, the fish came out horribly mushy and the orzo only average tasting. My parents, bless their hearts (get it?), still ate all of their fish. Happily, since it was my own dish, I could sulkily abuse it and let it sit there.
In the exact opposite process, the upside-down pineapple cake, which threatened to smoke us all out of the house due to the juice runoff during its baking process, is actually pretty tasty, though not very pretty.

My Dad and I consulted the great oracle Google about mushy salmon and he could only tell us "Shop somewhere else!"

Something's in the works chickadees, and if you follow this blog regularly and only comment irregularly, I mysteriously recommend that you make your presence known.

Writing in tiny lettering seems to be the print equivalent of whispering. Everyone reads it.


  1. Salmon is my favorite..I am sorry to hear your recipe did not turn out for the best. Maybe next time :)

  2. What was that last thing you said? I could barely hear you.

    I prefer my salmon raw. I know, barbarian.

  3. Hahahahaha Dani....great story. I can definitely relate, except for I never try recipes as complicated as this one appears.
    And I agree about food not resembling real animals. In Peru, did anyone ever serve you fish with the head and tail and everything on it. A little bit gross....

  4. "Shop somewhere else" - Oh I love that! Best advice I've heard in a long time. Can be liberally applied to so many things... Wise man, that dad of yours.
    Personally, I like my salmon smoked.
    (I feel for you - I know what it's like spending hours on a dish only to have it turn out less than preferable. Damn!)

  5. What a clever fish wrap! Dad knows best - can't say I've ever had mushy salmon except out of a can a bizillion years ago. Valentine's Day is coming up so I'll have to try that with chicken and wild rice instead. Yay for the cake!

  6. Yippee for kitchen disasters...which turn out okay in the end! :) But seriously, it all looks so complicated and!

  7. Looks like a delicious menu and those little paper parcels are so sweet. V impressive.

  8. I am ever so grateful for the pictures in cookbooks. I don't dare try a new, complicated recipe if it is not accompanied by a photo of how it is suppose to look in the end!
    Even if it didn't turn out as delicious as you were hoping, at least it all looks yummy!
    Better luck next time!

  9. thanks so much for stopping by my blog and entering the giveaway! :)

    i am loving your blog!

  10. Haha. I loved your "whispering"! And keep trying on the cooking. It looked delicious :)

  11. So glad you found my blog so I could find yours :) I wish I liked fish more...even though it failed, at least you're trying! Pineapple Upside Down Cake was the key to my husband's heart...haha. You're so right about the smaller font, btw. Have a great night! xoxo {av}

  12. I won't purchase a cookbook if it doesn't have a lot of color photos of the dishes. I don't know why, because they only serve to mock me when my receipes don't turn out - which is 99.8% of the time. I admire your gumption. Keep at it.

    All fish is pretty much gross according to my personal palet, but I would definitely take a big slice of that golden cake!

  13. Was the salmon previously frozen? Improper freezing (anything other than flash-freezing or freezing without chilling first) apparently causes ice crystals to form and these tear the muscle cells, producing lower quality meat. I'd imagine fish is sensitive to this, because fish seems to be sensitive to everything -_-;
    Did the orzo have too much liquid? Did you punch any holes in the parchment paper?
    I think you should have mixed them together and made a pasta-salad type thing :-) Then nobody would have known!