Or maybe in this case, who?
A boy sits next to my friend Kara and I in our Musical Appreciation class. I asked him some trivial question and then we chatted for a while about what seemed to me to be the usual. Where are you from? Oh, what part? How do you like Peru? I think I'll print out my answers to these questions and just hand them out to every new person I meet.
Kara: So that kid was pretty friendly...
Me: What? He asked me like three questions. It was totally normal.
Kara: I don't know, I don't give him credit for as much disinterested niceness as you. And the boys behind me didn't either. They were smirking...we exchanged some looks.
Me: Hey! Stop exchanging looks with people we don't know! Especially about innocent conversations. He looks, like...15!
Kara: I'm telling you...
Me: Right. Sure. He can be my Plan B. Ya know, in case nothing else comes along this semester.
We laugh, and the conversation devolves (from that lofty point) into jokes about statutory rape. Ahem.
Me: Darn it, Plan B's turning out to be a little more persistent than I had anticipated. He just asked me what I was doing after class. I said something about homework.
Kara: Ha! See? You thought I made it up.
Me: Oh, now I feel sorry for Plan B.
Kara: Why? Cause he's Plan B?
Me: No no, cause he's fake Plan B. Obviously any guy would be lucky to be my real Plan B.
Kara: Yeah, it is a little sad that he thinks he's got a shot. Poor fake Plan B.
So now for two weeks we've been cracking jokes about Plan B. (Think Plan B will lend me his notes to that movie I fell asleep in? Do not ask Plan B for notes! Do I look hot today? Think Plan B will let me cheat off his quiz? ) But we never failed to end our chuckles with a little shake of the head.
"Poor Plan B!"
Which was today. I was sick and miserable. Plan B was hanging around way too much before and after class. And constantly mumbling.
Me: "Plan B's starting to get on my nerves."
Kara: "I can never understand what he says! Can the boy not speak loudly?"
Me: "I hope he doesn't ask me what I'm doing after class again."
Obviously, something had to be done before matters got out of hand. Upon reentering the room with Plan B in tow we loudly discuss our weekend plans.
Kara: Do you want to hang out with my boyfriend and I on Saturday? You should bring (insert name of fictional guy).
Me: Oh, sure! As long as I can bring (same fictional guy).
Kara: Sure, it will be like a double date. That probably isn't a word in Spanish...but at least the word "date" was in there.
Puh-lease chickadees, we are nowhere near the first exchange students to make up boyfriends. I heard that one girl last year became particularly expert at spinning tales of her boyfriends/husbands. I didn't particularly like it, but it was for a good cause.
I just hope it was obvious enough, and that Plan B will move on and find someone for whom he can be Plan A.
Oh dear. Poor Plan B.
Whose actual name is something odd I can never remember right.